April 03, 2011

Saving the World all by myself and Winning!

I really try and be extra understanding and openly considerate and friendly when I am out and about in the world.

   Well now I do. ;)

Most negative and jerky things people do started with a similar event. I bet that person had a bad experience shopping or some other irritating lack of respect and consideration from someone who's job it was to help.
  All it takes is one lazy, disrespectful service person. You know the type. The one who acts like your time means nothing and ignores you when you need assistance with an issue. Yet they continue to talk to a co-worker or walk away without ever acknowledging your issue and only briefly acknowledging your existence with a "Be right Back." that sounded like bullshit before it was even spoken..  Next thing you know you have all this hurt and anger that should not be there , is undeserved andhave no outlet for.

  I think this stuff tips everyone over the edge. Even me, or especially me, since this is something I am actively working to change and train people to do in a more constructive manner. Customer Service that is.  I think it needs another overhaul; a reworking of how it thinks about itself to help it do its task. To make it come from a core understanding of what that task is.. First , Customer Service  should be forgotten as a label explaining the positions identity.  Personal Care Attendants fits much better to what we should hope to recieve from this section of companies consumer responabilities.This would give employee's a label to identify not only there ethos but task as well..
This and the positive training of staff towards these goals will not only bring faith and prestige to the company's using them, they will also be helping to make the whole world a better place to live.

You think not? Well then hear me out.
(" OMG someone is 4 inches to close to my door and I am going to have to squeeze into mine! What an asshole! I should tell them that."  Writes a hostile and insulting statement accusing the stranger parked next to them of how stupid and incompetent they are.)

       You cannot erase hostility by being negative to someone else. This doesn't transfer the anger it just snips a viral piece of it off. Now it spreads to that person, who will carry it and either deal with it in a  positive manner or not. They may attempt the same negative approach; and just spread it ever outwards.  My Customer Service Representative training vision statement.  has changed much but the core is the same. I built it all on the goal of making the world a better place to live in.
  Which isnt really for training CSR but for training people. Training them to help themselves and the world by being attentive to each other as people. To stop the anger with consideration and attentive kindness. To stop treating people and their problems as an inconvenience. Especially if there existence has  slowed ours down and made us take notice of them.  Thats when the nasty notes and mysterious scratches on your car start and the fun stops.

 When I see someone having a rough time of it, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant the situation may seem to others, those are the moments I pay attention to. I  make eye contact and smile at the person and if there is something I can do to help them, I do it. In that moment of stress where our lives have crossed paths, even 20 seconds of kindness can change the whole spectrum of possibilites in the world around us.

Another fascinating and wonderful aspect of this is the same thing that makes being negative hurt more and more people makes being positive and kind remove or heal the negativity not only on the person involved with you, but all the others they come in contact with. A moment of understanding or  will change that person who had given up on anyone being nice or kind. They are hating themselves and others because of whatever has happened and you can make them feel like its ok, like they are ok. Smiling and saying " It happens to everyone have a nice day."  or letting someone pass when they are stuck in another lane, or letting them turn in front of you even though you technically could push them out so they are stuck on the side simply because its Your Turn. 

  If it is your turn than I say this. It is also your turn to decide if being  unkind and ignoring someone is worth the time you saved in your precious schedule. Are the other humans on this planet only worthy of your kindess if you know them? Or they are from your same town? At what point in our lives did we decide that the people in our world are not worth the time it would take to find our car keys and start the car? Will not allowing them to leave the road because you would have to slow down by 4 or 5 mph for 20 seconds cause your world serious damage?  More likley your momentary kindness could very well prevent a serious accident from occuring because thay person would rather try and swerve dangerously to exit the freeway then drive to the next exit. All the horrible hypothetical arguments are pointless and removed by just letting them pass. You will never know what didnt happen, but you will always know that you were the one who took the moment to make sure nothing did. At the very least you will never have to feel the guilt of being one of the factors that caused someone to make a bad decision worse and hurt themselves or others.
People in our American culture spend as much as 30 to 45 minutes a day and sometimes as much as 2 hours or more, complaining about, or to strangers. 

   It is each and every one of us that is the cause and the cure of all that bullshit.   Just imagine that your 20 or 30 seconds of kindness could erase up to 2 hours per person of negativity across the nation. We are not getting rid of it when we complain. We are just spreading it ever outwards. One day the giant blanket of negativity will cover us all as it grows vastly larger with every negative reaction to its negative impulse.

  It would take less than 5% of the time and energy used towards negative reactions to apply a positive solution for most small kindnesses the more complex and more terrible the issue the more energy must be spent to reverse it or alliviate it. Thats just the way it is though. If we are not willing to expend that energy for the people in our world, then we most certainly have no right to ever expect anything from the world. This effort towards being considerate will save you time, stress and fatigue. It will return many times the amount of energy spent on it. It isnt something that happens to other people. It happens every day in many small ways, to us all. It will happen to you, eventually, if it hasn't already.

So yes, being kind is in your own selfish best interest.  Also the bullshit that is everywhere in the world that you dont like; It will never stop if you dont stop it. No one but you can stop it.  It is a solo task that we all simultaneously must do alone and yet share its benefits with all the world. For that is what we are, we are one people, all of us alone but together.

So when you see someone has gotten theselves in a bad spot, or they  are  just looking stressed from all the impatience and annoyance the world has heaped on them that doesnt have anything to do with them at all.  One smile and a wave of your hand, less than a full minute of your busy life and we can heal the damage done to that person by this daisy chain of negativity. If you break the chain you have helped every single person who they may have encountered and flung that anger at.    Its not  hippy crap, it's social science and the reality can only be proved by doing it.  You can start healing the entire worlds pain and anger with a moment of concideration and a smile.

So while many skeptics will disagree, instead of disagreeing with something you don't believe in or that you are sure wont work. Try it yourself. I ahve found that 80%  of all skeptics will refuse to try what they are sure will not work. Their reasoning is based on nothing other than the need to disagree with things.

   Anyways, I don't want anyone to take my word that this is true! I want everyone to prove to themselves that they can make the world better by not wasting their energy on negative reactions. If you find this is working, go the extra step and try being nice to strangers just because you can.

 If it turns out I was wrong, feel free to come back here and flame me with all the bullshit the world has heaped on you for trying to be kind. You dont have to be a close friend or even an online chat pal.  All are welcome, I can handle your anger.  I will put it in the pile with the rest of the anger that is left here. Then it wont hurt anyone else. :)

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