March 27, 2010

Assholes abound.

You couldn't pay me enough to stand behind that table. The other day I had to shooo some asshole away from a petition singing table. A 14 yr old girl and her mom volunteering their time instead of being payed to get signatures for issue's they believe in. That stuff makes me happy even if I don't agree with their politics. anyhoo the lil girl asks some guy to sign. He asks what for and when she says its for limiting campaign funding from private parties he flips out. The girl was scared and without missing a beat the guy was into his Obama rant. He got through the ruining America part when,( I was ignoring him and signing the petitions) I looked up and the girl was almost in tears and the guy was becoming aggressive. That was my queue, I stepped in. Poor kid she didn't need that memory; or maybe she did as a matter of fact.
Beligerant asshole's dont make me angry and my calm manner was pissing him off even more, if I didnt do something fast this idiot would suceed and get me thrown in jail for assault and battery. Well if not him personally than the police would when they found me standing on his chest. I then used my patented "WTF" attack! Succeeded in distracting him and making him jump back and forget what he was bitching about. Then he grumbled and walked away yelling things. Sigh, yeah well it went better than it could have, I would have stubbed my cigarette out in his mouth if he had started getting racist as well as ignorant.
Just in case your wondering what the "WTF" attack is, 1. it does not stand for What the fuck. Although that is the desired effect. It stands for Wiggle The Finger.
Casually and slowly point at the ground and when they look confused, start walking towards them pointing the finger at their eye ball. Trying to keep it as close as possible without running or moving faster and without actually jabbing them in the eye.
Its more effective than you might think.

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